Fuyu no hae to wa nani ka?

Yoboyobo to aruite iru hae. Yubi o chikazukete mo nigenai hae. Soshite tobenai noka to omotte iru to yahari tobu hae. Karera wa ittai dokode natsugoro no futeisa ya nikunikushii hodo no subashikosa o ushinatte kuru no darou. Iro wa fusenmei ni aoguronde, shitai wa ishuku shite iru. Kitanai zoumotsu de harikitte ita hara wa koyori no you ni yasehosotte iru. Sonna karera ga wareware no ki mo tsukanai you na yagu no ue nado o, ijike otoroeta sugata de harabatte iru no de aru.

Fuyu kara soushun ni kakete, hito wa ichido narazu sonna hae o mita ni chigai nai. Sore ga fuyu no hae de aru. Watakushi wa ima, kono toushi no heya ni sunde ita karera kara ippen no shousetsu o kakou to shite iru.

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Fuyu ga kite watakushi wa nikkouyoku o yarihajimeta. Tanima no onsen'yado nano de hi ga kageri yasui. Tani no fuukei wa asa osoku made wa hikage no naka ni sunde iru. Yatto juuji goro tani mukou no yama ni sekitomerarete ita nikkou ga sensen to watakushi no mado o ooi hajimeru. Mado o akete aogu to, tani no sora wa abu ya hachi no kouten ga isogashiku tobikatte iru. Shiroku kagayaita kumo no ito ga yuminari ni fukurande ikujou mo ikujou mo nagarete yuku. (Sono ito no ue ni wa, nan to iu chiisana tennyo! Kumo ga notte iru no de aru. Karera wa sou shite jibunra no shintai o tani no kochira gishi kara achira gishi e hakobu mono rashii.) konchuu. Konchuu. Shotou to itte mo karera no katsudou wa sora ni oru you de aru. Nikkou ga kashi no kozue ni somari hajimeru. Suruto sono kozue kara wa shiroi suijouki no you na mono ga tachi agaru. Shimo ga tokeru no darou ka. Toketa shimo ga jouhatsu suru no darou ka. Iya, sore mo konchuu de aru. Biryuushi no you na hamushi ga sonna fuu ni muragatte iru. Soko e hi ga atatta no de aru.

Watakushi wa akehanatta mado no naka de hanratai no shintai o sarashi nagara, sou shita naiwan no you ni nigiyaka na tani no sora o nagamete iru. Suruto karera ga yatte kuru no de aru. Karera no yatte kuru no wa watakushi no heya no tenjou kara de aru. Hikage de wa yoboyobo to shite iru karera wa hinata no naka e orite kuru ya yomigaetta you ni kakkizuku. Watakushi no sune e hiyari to tomattari, ryouashi o agete wakinoshita o kaku you na mane o shitari te o suriawasetari, kato omou to yowayowashiku tobitatte wa karamiattari suru no de aru. Soushita karera o mite iru to karera ga donna ni hikari o kononde iru ka ga awarena hodo rikai sareru. Tonikaku karera ga kigi suru you na hyoujou o suru no wa hinata no naka bakari de aru. Sore ni karera wa mado ga aite iru aida wa hinata no naka kara ippo mo deyou to wa shinai. Hi ga kageru made, utsutte yuku hinata no naka de asonde iru no de aru. Abu ya hachi ga anna ni mo hatsuratsu to tobimawatte iru gaiki no naka e mo kesshite tobitatou to wa sezu, nazeka byounin de aru watakushi o Manete iru. Shikashi nan to iu " Ikin to suru ishi"de arou! Karera wa nikkou no naka de wa koubi suru koto o wasurenai. Osoraku koshi kara wa sou tooku nai karera ga!

Nikkouyoku o suru toki watakushi no katawara ni karera o miru no wa watakushi no nikka no you ni natte shimatte ita. Watakushi wa kasuka na koukishin to isshu najimi no kimochi kara karera o koroshitari wa shinakatta. Mata natsu no koro no you ni takedake shii haetori kumo ga yatte kuru no de mo nakatta. Sou shita gaiteki kara wa karera wa anzen de atta to ieru no de aru. Shikashi mainichi taitei 2hiki zutsu hodo no karera ga nakunatte itta. Sore wa hoka de mo nai. Gyuunyuu no bin de aru. Watakushi wa jibun no nomippanashi o hinata no naka e oite oku. Suruto Mainichi kimatta you ni sono naka e haitte derarenai yatsu ga dekita. Bin no uchigawa o shintai ni fuchaku shita gyuunyuu o hikizuri nagara nobotte kuru no de aru ga, chikara no nai karera wa doushite mo chuuto de ochite shimau. Watakushi wa tokidoki sore o nagamete itari shita ga, kochira ga " Mou ochiru jibun da" to omou koro, hae mo "Aa, mou ochisou da" to iu fuu ni ugokanaku naru. Soshite annojou ochite shimau. Sore wa mite ite kesshite zankoku de naku wa nakatta. Shikashi sore o tasukete yaru to iu you na kimochi wa watakushi no kentai kara wa okotte konai. Karera wa sono mama jochuu ga sagete yuku. Futa o shite oite yaru to iu chuui mo nao no koto dekinai. Yokujitsu ni naru to mata 1piki zutsu wa itte onaji koto o kurikaeshite ita.

" Hae to nikkouyoku o shite iru otoko" Ima shokun no me ni wa sou shita hyoushou ga ukande iru ni chigai nai. Nikkouyoku o kaita tsuide ni watakushi wa mou hitotsu no hyoushou " Nikkouyoku o shi nagara taiyou o nikunde iru otoko" o kaite yukou.

Watakushi no taizai wa kono fuyu de futa fuyu me de atta. Watakushi wa kononde konna sankan ni yatte kite iru wake de wa nakatta. Watakushi wa hayaku tokai e kaeritai. Kaeritai to omoi nagara futa fuyu mo ite shimatta no de aru. Itsumade tatte mo watakushi no "Hirou" wa watakushi o kaihou shinakatta. Watakushi ga tokai o omoi ukaberu goto ni watakushi no "Hirou" wa zetsubou ni michita machimachi o egakidasu. Sore wa itsu ni natte mo henkai sarenai. Soshite hajime kokoro ni kimete ita tokai e kaeru hidori wa tou no mukashi ni sugisatta mama, ima wa sono kage mo katachi mo naku natte ita no de aru. Watakushi wa hi o abite ite mo, ina, hi o abiru toki wa koto ni, taiyou o nikumu koto bakari kangaete ita. Kekkyoku wa watakushi o ikasanai de arou taiyou. Shikamo uttori to shita sei no gen'ei de watakushi o damasou to suru taiyou. Oo, watakushi no taiyou. Watakushi wa darashi no nai aijou no you ni taiyou ga shaku ni sawatta. Kegoromo no you na mono wa, hantai ni, sutoreeto jaketto no you ni watakushi o appaku shita. Kyoujin no you na modae de sore o hikisaki, watakushi o korosu de arou kokkan no naka no jiyuu o hitasura ni watakushi wa hosshita.

Koushita kanjou wa nikkouyoku no sai shintai no ukeru seiriteki na henka -- sakan ni natte kuru kekkou ya, sore ni shitagatte donma shite yuku zunou ya -- sou itta mono no naka ni tashika ni sono gen'in o motte iru. Surudoi hiai o yawarage, hokahoka to kokoro o tanoshimasu kaikan wa, douji ni omokkurushii fukaikan de aru. Kono fukaikan wa nikkouyoku no sunda ato nan to mo ienai kyomuteki na tsukarede byounin o uchi makashite shimau. Osoraku sore e no ken'o kara watakushi no sou shita zouo mo haitai shita no kamo shirenai no de aru.

Shikashi watakushi no zouo wa sore bakari de wa naku, taiyou ga fuukei e ataeru kouka -- me kara no kouka -- No ue ni mo keisei sarete ita.

Watakushi ga saigo ni tokai ni ita koro -- sore wa touji ni ma mo nai koro de atta ga -- watakushi wa mainichi jibun no mado no fuukei kara kiete yuku hikage ni kagiri nai aiseki o motte ita. Watakushi wa bokujuu no you ni komiagete kuru kaikon to iradatashisa no kanjou de, fuukei o umete yuku kage o nagamete ita. Soshite rakujitsu o miyou to suru setsunasa ni karare nagara, mitooshi no tsukanai machi o awate futameite urouro shita no de aru. Ima no watakushi ni wa mou sonna aiseki wa nakatta. Watakushi wa hi no atatta fuukei no shouchou suru koufuku na kanjou o hitei suru no de wa nai. Sono koufuku wa ima ya watakushi o kizu tsukeru. Watakushi wa sore o nikumu no de aru.

Tani no mukougawa ni wa sugibayashi ga sanpuku o ootte iru. Watakushi wa taiyou kousen no giman o itsumo sono sugibayashi de kanjita. Hiruma hi ga atatte iru toki sore wa tada zatsuzen to shita sugi no ho no taiseki to shika mienakatta. Sore ga yuugata ni nari hikari ga sorakara no hansha kousen ni kawaru to hakkiri shita enkin ni wakarete kuru no datta. Ippon ippon no ki ga okashigatai igen o arawashite ki, shinshin to tachinarabi, tachi shizumatte kuru no de aru. Soshite hiruma wa kanjirarenakatta chiiki ga kashiko ni koko ni sugi no honami no aida e souzou sareru you ni naru. Tanigawa ni wa mata kashi ya shii no jouryokuju ni majitte ippon no rakuyouju ga hadaka no eda ni shuiro no mi o tarete tatte ita. Sono iro wa hiruma wa shiroku kona o fuita you ni tsukarete iru. Sore ga yuugata ni naru to me ga suitsuku bakari no azayakasa ni saeru. Ganrai hitotsu no mono ni hitotsu no shikisai ga koyuu shite iru to iu wake no mono de wa nai. Dakara watakushi wa sore o mo giman to iu no de wa nai. Shikashi chokusha kousen ni wa henpa ga ari, hitotsu no busshou no iro o sono shuui no iro to no tadashii Kaichou kara yabutte shimau no de aru. Sore bakari de wa nai. Zen hansha ga aru. Hikage wa hiomote to no taishou de yami no you ni natte shimau. Nanto iu zatta na kondaku darou. Soshite subete sou shita koto ga hi no atatta fuukei o tsukuriagete iru no de aru. Soko ni wa kanjou no shikan ga ari, shinkei no donma ga ari, risei no giman ga aru. Kore ga sono shouchou suru koufuku no naiyou de aru. Osoraku seken ni okeru koufuku ga sorera o jouken to shite iru you ni.

Watakushi wa izen to wa hantai ni keikan o tsumetaku shizumasete yuku yuugata o -- wazuka no jikan shika chijou ni tomaranai tasogare no ogosoka na okite o -- matsu you ni natta. Sore wa hi ga chijou o satte itta ato, michi no ue no mizutamari o shiroku hikarase nagara sora kara orite kuru hansha kousen de aru. Tatoe hito wa sono naka de wa koufuku de wa nai ni shite mo, soko ni wa watakushi no me o sumase kokoro o sukitooraseru fuukei ga atta.

"Heizoku na hinata me! Hayaku kiero. Ikura kisama ga fuukei ni aijou o atae, fuyu no hae o kakki zukete mo, ore o gumaika suru koto dake wa dekinu wai. Ore wa kisama no deshi no gaikouha ni tsuba o hikkakeru. Ore wa kondo attara isha ni kougi o moushikonde yaru"

Hi ni atari nagara watakushi no zouo wa dandan takamatte yuku. Shikashi nan to iu "Ikin to suru ishi"de arou. Hinata no naka no karera wa eikyuu ni karera no tanoshimi o misutenai. Bin no naka no yatsu mo eikyuu ni nobotte wa ochi, nobotte wa ochite iru.

Yagate hi ga kageri hajimeru. Takai shii no kie kakureru no de aru. Chokusha kousen ga keutoi kaisetsu kousen ni utsuroi hajimeru. Karera no kage mo watakushi no sune no kage mo fushigi na azayakasa o obite kuru. Soshite watakushi wa dotera o matotte garasu mado o tozashi kakaru no de atta.

Gogo ni naru to watakushi wa dokusho o suru koto ni shite ita. Karera wa mata soko e yatte kita. Karera wa watakushi no yonde iru hon e matsuwari tsuite, watakushi no haguru peeji no tame ni itsu mo shintai o hasami komareta. Sore hodo karera wa nigeashi ga osoi. Nigeashi ga osoi dake nara mada shimo, wazuka na kami no omomi no shita de, atakamo hari ni osaerareta you ni, aomuke ni nattari shite mogaka nakereba naranai no datta. Watakushi ni wa karera o korosu ishi ga nakatta. Sore de sonna toki -- koto ni shokuji no toki nado wa, karera no ashiyowa ga kaette meiwaku ni natta. Shokuzen no mono e tomari ni kuru toki wa ou hashi o koto sara yukkuri ugokasa nakute wa naranai. Samo nai to hashi no saki de kitanarashiku mo tsuburete shimawanai to mo kagiranai no de aru. Shikashi sore de mo mada sore ni hanerarete shiru no naka e ochikondari suru no ga ita.

Saigo ni karera o miru no wa yoru, watakushi ga nedoko e hairu toki de atta. Karera wa mina tenjou ni haritsuite ita. Jitto, shinda you ni haritsuite ita. -- ittai hiyowa na karera wa nikkou no naka de tawamurete iru toki de sae, shinda hae ga ikikaette kite asonde iru you na kanji ga atta. Shinde kara ikunichi mo tachi, naizou nado mo kawakitsuite shimatta hae ga yoku hokori ni mamirete korogatte iru koto ga aru ga, sonna yatsu ga mata nokonoko to ikikaette kite asonde iru. Iya, jijitsu sonna koto ga aru no de wa nakarou ka, To itta souzou mo karera no mitekure kara wa juubun ni yurusu koto ga dekiru hodo de atta. Sonna karera ga imaya shikoritto tenjou ni tomatte iru. Sore wa hontou ni shinda you de aru.

Soushita, sakkaku ni nita karera o nemuru mae makura no ue kara nagamete iru to, watakushi no mune e wa itsumo kakuryou to shita shin'ya no kehai ga shimite kita. Fuyuzareta keikan no ryokan wa watakushi no hoka ni shukuhakunin no nai yoru ga aru. Sonna heya wa mina dentou ga kesarete iru. Soshite yo ga fukeru ni shitagatte nantonaku haikyo ni yadotte iru you na kokoromochi o sasou no de aru. Watakushi no me wa sono are sabita kuusou no naka ni, osoroshii made ni azayaka na hitotsu no bamen o omoi ukaberu. Sore wa yoru fukaku umi no kou o tate nagara, sumitootta yu o afuresasete iru tanisoba no yoku sou de aru. Soshite sono joukei wa masumasu watakushi ni haikyo no kimochi o tsunorasete yuku. -- tenjou no karera o nagamete iru to watakushi no kokoro wa soushita shin'ya o kanjiru. Shin'ya no naka e kokoro ga hirogatte yuku. Soshite sono naka no tada hitotsu no okite iru heya de aru watakushi no heya. -- tenjou ni karera no tomatte iru, shinda you ni shikoritto tomatte iru watakushi no heya ga, kodoku na kanjou to tomo ni watakushi ni kaette kuru.

Hibachi no hi wa otoroe hajimete, garasu mado o uruoshite ita yuge wa dandan ue kara kiete kuru. Watakushi wa sono naka kara sakana no hararago ni nita yuuutsu na monmon ga arawarete kuru no o miru. Sore wa saisho no fuyu, yahari koushite kiete itta suijouki ga itsunoma ni ka sonna monmon o tsukutte shimatta no de aru. Tokonoma no sumi ni wa usuuku hokori o kamutta kusuribin ga nanpon mo kara ni natte iru. Nan to iu kentai, nan to iu injun darou. Watakushi no byouutsu wa, osoraku tasho no heya ni wa sunde inai fuyu no hae osae sumasete iru de wa nai ka. Itsu ni nattara ittai kou shita koto ni keri ga tsuku no ka.

Kokoro ga sonna koto ni hikkakaru to watakushi wa itsumo fumin o wazawai sareta. Nemure naku naru to watakushi wa gunkan no shinsuishiki o omoi ukaberu. Sono tsugi ni wa ogura hyakunin isshu o isshu zutsu omoi dashite wa sore no imi o kangaeru. Soshite saigo ni wa kangae erareru kagiri no zangyaku na jisatsu no houhou o kuusou shi, sono tsumikasane ni yotte nemuri o sasoou to suru. Garan To shita keikan no ryokan no isshitsu de. Tenjou ni karera no haritsuite iru, shinda you ni shikoritto haritsuite iru isshitsu de.--

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Sono hi wa yoku hareta atatakai hi de atta. Gogo watakushi wa mura no yuubinkyoku e tegami o dashi ni itta. Watakushi wa tsukarete ita. Sore kara tani e orite mada sajuu yonchou mo aruka nakereba naranai watakushi no yado e kaeru no ga ika ni mo okkuu de atta. Soko e ichidai no noriai jidousha ga toori kakatta. Sore o miru to watakushi wa fui ni te o ageta. Soshite sore ni norikonde shimatta no de aru.

Sono jidousha wa mura no kaidou o tooru douzoku no naka de mo isshume datta tokuchou de jibun o katatte ita. Kurai horo no naka no joukyaku no me ga mina ichiyou ni zenpou o mitsumete iru koto ya, doroyoke, sore kara suteppu no ue e made afureta nimotsu o asanawa ga shatai e shibari tsukete iru kakkou ya -- sonna isshu no mono mono shii tokuchou de, karera ga ima kara agari san-ri ori san-ri no touge o koete hantou no nantan no minato e juuichi-ri no michi o yuku jidousha de aru koto ga hitome de shireru no de atta. Watakushi wa sore e notte shimatta no de aru. Sore ni shite wa nan to iu funiai na kyaku de attarou. Watakushi wa tada mura no yuubinkyoku made kite tsukareta to iu bakari no ningen ni suginai no datta.

Hi wa mou katamuite ita. Watakushi ni wa nan no kansou mo nakatta. Tada watakushi no hirou o magirashite yuku kokoroyoi jidousha no douyou bakari ga atta. Mura no hito ga seoi ami o otte yama kara kaette kuru koro de, mishitta kao ga nando mo jidousha o yoketa. Sono tabi watakushi wa dandan "Ishi no chuuburari ni kyoumi o oboete kita. Soshite, sore wa mata sore de, watakushi no hirou o nani ka kawatta hoka no mono ni kaete yuku no datta. Yagate sono murabito ni mo awanaku natta. Shizenrin ga mawatta. Rakujitsu ga arawareta. Tani no oto ga tooku natta. Toshifurita sugi no chuurou ga tsuzuita. Tsumetai sanki ga shimite kita. Majo no matagatta houki no you ni, jidousha wa watakushi o takai sora e hakonda. Ittai doko made yukou to suru no darou. Touge no suidou o deru to mou hantou no minami de aru. Watakushi no mura e kaeru ni mo tsugi no onsen'e yuku ni mo sanri no kudarimichi de aru. Soko e kita toki, watakushi wa yatto jidousha o tometa. Soshite hakubo no yama no naka e orite shimatta no de aru. Nan no tame ni? Sore wa watakushi no hirou ga shitte iru. Watakushi wa fugainai hitori no watakushi o, hitozato hanareta sanchuu e iki shite shimatta koto ni, kimi no ii choushou o kanjite ita.

Kashidori ga nando mo mijika kara tobidashite watakushi o odorokashita. Michi wa kogurai tanihida o mawatte, doko made itte mo tenbou ga hirakenakatta. Kono mama de hi ga kurete shimatte wa to, watakushi no kokoro wa kokorobososa de ippai de atta. Ikutabi mo tobidasu kashidori wa, sonna watakushi o, chikaku de miru ookina sugata de obiyakashi nagara, ha no ochita keyaki ya nara no eda o harabau you ni watatte itta.

Saigo ni toutou tani ga sugata o arawashita. Sugi no ho ga saibou no you ni mitsusei shite iru haruka na tani! Nanto iu sore wa kyodai na tani dattarou. Toomoya no naka ni wa oto mo kikoenai mizu mo ugokanai taki ga chiisaku chiisaku kakatte ita. Memai o kanjisaseru you na keitei ni wa maruta o kunda sorimichi ga kanzamu to shiroku harabatte ita. Hi wa tani mukou no one e shizunda tokoro de atta. Mizu o utta you na shizukesa ga ima kono tani o ryoushite ita. Nani mo ugokazu nani mo kikoenai no de aru. Sono shizukesa wa hyotto yume ka to omou you na tani no nagame ni naosara yume noyou na kanji o ataete ita.

"Koko de kono mama hi no kureru made suwatte iru to iu koto wa, nan to iu gousha na Kokorobososa darou" to watakushi wa omotta."Yado de wa yuuhan no youi ga nani mo shirazu ni matte iru. Soshite ore wa kon'ya wa dou naru ka wakaranai"

Watakushi wa watakushi no okizari ni shite kita yuuutsu na heya o omoi ukabeta. Soko de wa watakushi wa yuuge no jibun kimatte hatsunetsu ni kurushimu no de aru. Watakushi wa kimonogurumi nedoko e haitte iru. Sore de mo mada samui. Okan ni furue nagara aki no atama wa nando mo yokusou o souzou suru."Asuko e hitattara donna ni kimochi ii koto darou" soshite watakushi wa kaidan o kudari yokusou no hou e aruite yuku watakushi jishin ni naru. Shikashi sono souzou no naka de wa watakushi wa kesshite jibun no ifuku o nuganai. Ifuku gurumi sono naka e haitte shimau no de aru. Watakushi no shintai ni wa, soshite, sasae ga nai. Watakushi wa bukubuku to shizunde shimai, yokusou no soko e dekishitai no you ni yokotawatte shimau. Itsumo kimatte sono souzou de aru. Soshite watakushi wa nedoko no naka de manchou no you ni okan ga hiite yuku no o matte iru. --

Atari wa dandan kuraku natte kita. Hi no ochita ato no mizu no you na hikari o nokoshite, saezae to shita hoshi ga sunda sora ni arawarete kita. Kogoeta yubi no aida no tabako no hi ga yuuyami no naka de irozuite kita. Sono hi no iro wa koubaku to shita shuui no naka de ika ni mo kodoku de atta. Sono hi o oite itten no touka mo miezu ni kono tani wa kurete shimaou to shite iru node aru. Samusa wa dandan watakushi no shintai e hairiikonde kita. Heijou gaiki no okasanai oku no hou made hieitte, futokorote o shite mo nan no yaku ni mo tatanai kurai ni natte kita. Shikashi watakushi wa yami to samuke ga youyaku watakushi o yuuki zukete kita no o kanjita. Watakushi wa itsu no ma nika, kore kara san-ri no michi o aruite tsugi no onsen made yuku koto ni jibun o yotei shite ita. Hishihishi to sematte kuru zetsubou ni nita mono wa dandan watakushi no kokoro ni zankoku na yokubou o tsunorasete itta. Hirou mata wa kentai ga ittan sou shita mono ni kawatta ga saigo, itsu mo watakushi wa owari made sono gisei ni nari toosanakereba naranai no datta. Atari ga toppuri kure, watakushi ga yatto soko o tachiagatta toki, watakushi wa atari ni mada hikari ga atta toki to wa mattaku chigatta kanjou de watakushi jishin o gisou shite ita.

Watakushi wa yama no itetsuita kuuki no naka o yami o wakete arukidashita. Shintai wa sukoshi mo atatakaku mo naranakatta. Tokidoki sore de mo watakushi no hoo o karuku nadete yuku kuuki ga kanjirareta. Hajime watakushi wa sore o hatsunetsu no tame ka, sore to mo kyokutan na samusa no naka de okoru shintai no henchou ka to omotte ita. Shikashi aruite yuku uchi ni, sore wa hiruma no hi no hotobori ga mada madara ni michi ni nokotte iru tame de arurashii koto ga wakatte kita. Suru to watakushi ni wa kootta yami no naka ni hiru no hizashi ga ariari to mieru you ni omoe hajimeta. Hitotsu no touka mo mienai yami to iu mono mo watakushi ni wa henna ki o okosaseta. Sore wa hi ga tsuita to iu koto de, moshikuwa hi no hikari no shita de, bunmeiteki na watakushitachi wa hajimete yoru o rikai suru mono de aru to iu koto o shinzeshimeru ni juubun de atta. Makkura na yami ni mo kakawarazu watakushi wa sore ga hiruma to onaji de aru you na kanji o idaita. Hoshi no hikatte iru sora wa massao de atta. Michi o miwakete yuku houhou wa hiruma no houhou to nan no kawatta koto mo nakatta. Michi o somete iru hiruma no hotobori wa naosara sono kanji o tsuyoku shita.

Totsuzen watakushi no ushiro kara kaze no you na oto ga okotta. Satto nagarete kuru hikari no naka e michi no ue no koishi ga ha no you na kage o tateta. Ichidai no jidousha ga, sore o sakete iru watakushi ni wa ikko no chuui mo harawazu ni hashirisugite itta. Shibaraku watakushi wa bon'yari shite ita. Jidousha wa yagate keiheki o mawatta mukou no michi e sugata o arawashita. Shikashi sore wa jidousha ga hashitte iru to iu yori, heddoraito o tsuketa ookina yami ga mae e mae e oshiyosete yuku kano you ni mieru no de atta. Sore ga yume no you ni kiete shimau to mata atari wa samui yami ni tsutsumare, kuufuku shita watakushi ga kurai jounetsu ni afurete michi o funde ita.

"Nanto iu nigai zetsubou shita fuukei de arou. Watakushi wa watakushi no unmei sono mama no shii no naka ni aruite iru. Kore wa watakushi no kokoro sono mama no sugata de ari, koko ni ite watakushi wa hinata no naka de kanjiru you na nanra no giman o mo kanjinai. Watakushi no shinkei wa kurai yukute ni mukatte harikiri, ima ya ketsuzen to shita ishi o kanjiru. Nanto iu sore wa kimochi no ii koto darou. Teibatsu no you na yami, hada o saku kokkan. Sono naka de koso watakushi no hirou wa kokoroyoku kinchou shi atarashii senritsu o kanjiru koto ga dekiru. Aruke. Aruke. Hetabaru made aruke"

Watakushi wa zankoku na choushi de jibun o Muchiutta. Aruke. Aruke. Aruki koroshite shimae.

Sono yoru osoku watakushi wa hantou no nantan, minato no funatsukiba o mae ni shite tsukarekitta watakushi no shintai o tatasete ita. Watakushi wa sake o nonde ita. Shikashi kokoro wa shizunda mama sukoshi mo yotte inakatta.

Tsuyoi shio no kaori ni majitte, chan ya abura no nioi ga koku sono atari o tate komete ita. Moyai tsuna ga fune no neiki no you ni kishiri, sore o nemuri tsukaseru you ni, shizuka na nami no pochapocha to gensoku o tataku oto ga, kurai suimen ni kikoete ita.

"**** san wa inai kayou! "

Shizuka na kuuki o yabutte namameita onna no koe ga sakihodo kara kishi de yonde ita. Bon'yari shita akari o mnemusou ni sagete iru hyakuton amari no kisen no tomo no hou kara, mienai koe ga fumeiryou ni nani ka kotaete iru. Sore wa omoomoshii basu de aru.

"Inai no kayou. **** san wa"

Sore wa kono minato ni fune no otoko o aite ni kobi o utte iru onna rashiku omoeru. Watakushi wa sono henji no basu ni hitogoto nagara kikimimi o tateta ga, aikawarazu aimai na kotoba ga onaji you ni nibui choushi de hibiku bakari de, yagate onna wa akirameta yousu de inaku natte shimatta.

Watakushi wa shizuka na nemutta minato o mae ni shinagara tenpen ni tonda sono yoru o kaisou shite ita. San-ri wa tokkuni aruita to omotte iru no ni ikura shite mo oshimai ni naranakatta yamamichi ya, tani no naka ni hatsudensho ga miehajime, shibaraku suru to tani no soko o chouchin ga futatsu mitsu shizuka na yoru no aisatsu o kawashi nagara motsurete iku no ga mie, watakushi wa sore ga ookata mura no hito ga onsen e hairi ni yuku hi de, onsen wa mou masachika ni chigai nai to omoikomi, genki o dashita no ni migoto ate ga hazureta koto ya, yatto onsen ni tsuite kogoetsukareta shishi o murabito no komiatte iru kyoudouyu de nurumeta toki no iyou na ando no kanjou ya, -- hontou ni sorera wa kaisou to iu kotoba ni fusawashii kurai hitoban no keiken to shite wa houfu sugiru naiyou de atta. Shikamo sore de oshimai to iu no de wa nakatta. Watakushi ga yatto hara o fukurashite jinshin tsukuka tsukanu ni, watakushi no mitasarenai zankoku na yokubou wa mou ichido watakushi ni yoru no michi e deru koto o meirei shita no de atta. Watakushi wa fuan na ate de namae mo hatsumimi na tsugi no niri bakari mo hanareta onsen e aruka nakereba naranakatta. Sono michi de toutou watakushi wa mayotte shimai, tohou ni kurete yami no naka e uzukumatte ita toki, osoi jidousha ga toori kakari, yatto no koto de sore o yobitomete, yotei o kaete kono minato no machi e kite shimatta no de atta. Sore kara watakushi wa doko e itta ka. Watakushi wa sonna tokoro ni wa isshu no kyuukaku de mo motte iru kano you ni, horiwari ni sotta shouka no ienami no naka e dete shimatta. Mogusa o matotta you na senpu-tachi ga nannin mo murete, shiroku keshou shita onna o karakai nagara, yoroyoro to aruite ita. Watakushi wa nido hodo onaji michi o mawari, soshite saigo ni ikken no ie e haitta. Watakushi wa tsukareta shintai ni atsui sake o sosogiireta. Shikashi watakushi wa yowanakatta. Shaku ni kita onna wa sanmasen no hanashi o shita. Sen'in no ude ni fusawashii takumashii kenkou sou na onna datta. Sono hitori wa watakushi ni in o susumeta. Watakushi wa sono kane o haratta mama, minato no arika o kiite soto e dete shimatta no de aru.

Watakushi wa chikaku no oki ni yukkuri meimetsu shite iru kaiten toudai no hi o nagame nagara, nagai emaki no you na yoru no owari o kanjite ita. Funabata no fureau oto, tomotsuna no haru oto, nemutage na fune no hi, subete ga kuraku shizuka ni soshite uchiwa de, yawarakana kanshou o sasotta. Dokoka ni sagashite yado o torou ka, sore to mo ima no onna no tokoro e kaette yukou ka, sore wa izure ni shite mo watakushi no zouo ni michita araarashii kokoro wa kono minato no futou de tsukite ita. Nagai aida watashi wa soko ni tatte ita. Keutoi suiki no you na mono ga watakushi no atama o sasou made shizuka na umi no yami o miitte ita. --

Watakushi wa sono minato o chuushin ni shite mikka hodo mo sono fukin no onsen de kaeru hi o nobashita. Akarui minami no umi no iro ya nioi wa nani ka watakushi ni wa araarashiku sozatsu de atta. Sono ue hizoku de usugitanai heiya no nagame wa sugu ni watakushi o akasete shimatta. Yama ya tani ga semegiai kokoro o yasumeru yoyuu ya yasuraka na nozomi no nai watakushi no mura no fuukei ga itsuka watakushi no mi ni tsuite shimatte iru koto o watakushi wa shitta. Soshite mikka no ato watakushi wa mata watakushi no kokoro o fuujiru tame ni watakushi no mura e kaette kita no de aru.

3

Watakushi wa nannichi mo waruku natta shintai o nedoko ni tsukete inakereba naranakatta. Watakushi ni wa betsu ni sashita koukai mo nakatta ga, shitta hitobito no darekare ga sou shita koto o kikeba sazo inki ni nari ki o waruku suru darou to sono koto bakari omotte ita.

Sonna aru hi no koto watakushi wa futo jibun no heya ni ippiki mo hae ga inaku natte iru koto ni ki ga tsuita. Sono koto wa watakushi o juubun odorokashita. Watakushi wa kangaeta. Osoraku watakushi no rusuchuu dare mo mado o akete hi o irezu hi o taite heya o atatame nakatta aida ni, karera wa samuke no tame ni shinde shimatta no de wa nakarou ka. Sore wa arisou na koto ni omoeta. Karera wa watakushi no shizuka na seikatsu no yotoku o jibunra no seizon no jouken to shite ikite ita no de aru. Soshite watakushi ga jibun no ukkutsu shita heya kara nigedashite ware to wagami o seme sainande ita aida ni, karera wa hontou ni samuke to ue de shinde shimatta no de aru. Watakushi wa sono koto ni shibaraku yuuutsu o kanjita. Sore wa watakushi ga karera no shi o itanda tame de wa naku, watakushi ni mo nani ka watakushi o ikashi soshite itsu ka watakushi o koroshite shimau kimagure na jouken ga aru you na ki ga shita kara de atta. Watakushi wa soitsu no habahiroi se o mita you ni omotta. Sore wa atarashii soshite watakushi no jisonshin o kizutsukeru kuusou datta. Soshite watakushi wa sono kuusou kara masumasu in'utsu o kuwaete yuku watakushi no seikatsu o kanjita no de aru.