Zenchi Naigu no hana to ie ba, ikenoo de shiranai mono wa nai. Nagasa wa goroku sun atte uwakuchibiru no ue kara ago no shita made sagatteiru. Katachi wa moto mo saki mo onaji you ni futoi. Iwaba hosonagai chouzume no you na mono ga, burari to kao no mannaka kara burasagatte iru no de aru.

  Gojussai o koeta Naigu wa, shami no mukashi kara, naidoujou gubu no shoku ni nobotta konnichi made, naishin dewa shijuu kono hana o ku ni yande kita. Mochiron hyoumen dewa, ima demo sahodo ki ni naranai you na kao o shite sumashiteiru. Kore wa sennen ni tourai no joudo o katsugyou subeki souryo no mi de, hana no shinpai o suru no ga warui to omotta kara bakari dewanai. Sore yori mushiro, jibun de hana o ki ni shiteiru to iu koto o, hito ni shirareru no ga iya datta kara de aru. Naigu wa nichijou no danwa no naka ni, hana to iu kotoba ga detekuru no o nani yori mo osoreteita.

  Naigu ga hana o moteamashita riyuu wa futatsu aru. Hitotsu wa jissaiteki ni, hana no nagai no ga fuben datta kara de aru. Dai-ichi meshi o kuu toki nimo hitori dewa kuenai. Hitori de kueba, hana no saki ga kanamari no naka no meshi e todoite shimau. Soko de Naigu wa deshi no hitori o zen no mukou e suwarasete, meshi o kuu aidajuu, hirosa issun nagasa nishaku bakari no ita de, hana o mochiagete ite morau koto ni shita. Shikashi koushite meshi o kuu to iu koto wa, mochiagete iru deshi ni totte mo, mochiagerarete iru Naigu ni totte mo, kesshite youi na koto dewa nai. Ichido kono deshi no kawari o shita chuudouji ga, kusame o shita hyoushi ni te ga furuete, hana o kayu no naka e otoshita hanashi wa, touji miyako made kenden sareta. --keredomo kore wa Naigu ni totte, kesshite hana o ku ni yanda omona riyuu dewa nai. Naigu wa jitsu ni kono hana ni yotte kizutsukerareru jisonshin no tame ni kurushinda no de aru.

  Ikenoo no machi no mono wa, kou iu hana o shiteiru Zenchi Naigu no tame ni, Naigu no zoku de nai koto o shiawase da to itta. Ano hana dewa dare mo tsuma ni naru onna ga arumai to omotta kara de aru. Naka niwa mata, ano hana dakara shukke shita no darou to hihyou suru mono sae atta. Shikashi Naigu wa, jibun ga sou de aru tame ni, ikubun demo kono hana ni wazurawasareru koto ga sukunaku natta to omotte inai. Naigu no jisonshin wa, saitai to iu you na kekkateki na jijitsu ni sayuu sareru tame niwa, amari ni DERIKEITO ni dekiteita no de aru. Sokode Naigu wa, sekkyokuteki nimo shoukyokuteki nimo, kono jisonshin no kison o kaifuku shiyou to kokoromita.

  Dai-ichi ni Naigu no kangaeta no wa, kono nagai hana o jissai ijou ni mijikaku miseru houhou de aru. Kore wa hito no inai toki ni, kagami e mukatte, iroirona kakudo kara kao o utsushinagara, nesshin ni kufuu o korashite mita. Douka suru to, kao no ichi o kaeru dake dewa, anshin ga dekinakunatte, hoozue o tsuitari ago no saki e yubi o ategattari shite, konki yoku kagami o nozoite miru koto mo atta. Shikashi jibun demo manzoku suru hodo, hana ga mijikaku mieta koto wa, kore made ni tada no ichido mo nai. Toki ni yoru to, kushin sureba suru hodo, kaette nagaku mieru you na ki sae shita. Naigu wa, kouiu toki niwa, kagami o hako e shimainagara, imasara no you ni tameiki o tsuite, fushou bushou ni mata moto no kyouzukue e, kannongyou o yomi ni kaeru no de aru.

  Sore kara mata Naigu wa, taezu hito no hana o ki ni shiteita. Ikenoo no tera wa, sougu kousetsu nado no shibashiba okonawareru tera de aru. Tera no uchi niwa, soubou ga sukimanaku tatetsuzuite, yuya dewa tera no sou ga higoto ni yu o wakashiteiru. Shitagatte koko e deiri suru souzoku no tagui mo hanahada ooi. Naigu wa kouiu hitobito no kao o konkiyoku busshoku shita. Hitori demo jibun no you na hana no aru ningen o mitsukete, anshin ga shitakatta kara de aru. Dakara Naigu no me niwa, kon no suikan mo shiro no katabira mo hairanai. Mashite koujiiro no boushi ya, shiinibi no koromo nazo wa, minareteiru dake ni, are domo naki ga gotoku de aru. Naigu wa hito o mizu ni, tada, hana o mita. --shikashi kagibana wa atte mo, Naigu no you na hana wa hitotsu mo miataranai. Sono miataranai koto ga tabikasanaru ni shitagatte, Naigu no kokoro wa shidai ni mata fukai ni natta. Naigu ga hito to hanashinagara, omowazu burari to sagatteiru hana no saki o tsumande mite, toshigai mo naku kao o akarameta no wa, mattaku kono fukai ni ugokasarete no shoi de aru.

  Saigo ni, Naigu wa, naiten geten no naka ni, jibun to onaji you na hana no aru jinbutsu o miidashite, semete mo ikubun no kokoroyari ni shiyou to sae omotta koto ga aru. Kere domo, mokuren ya, sharihotsu no hana ga nagakatta to wa, dono kyoumon nimo kaitenai. Muron ryuuju ya memyou mo, hitonami no hana o sonaeta bosatsu de aru. Naigu wa, Shintan no hana no tsuideni Shokukan no Ryuu Gentoku no mimi ga nagakatta to iu koto o kiita toki ni, sore ga hana dattara, donokurai jibun wa kokorobosoku naku naru darou to omotta.

  Naigu ga kouiu shoukyokuteki na kushin o shinagara mo, ippou dewa mata, sekkyokuteki ni hana no mijikakunaru houhou o kokoromita koto wa, wazawaza koko ni iu made mo nai. Naigu wa kono houmen de mo hotondo dekirudake no koto o shita. Karasu uri o senjite nondemita koto mo aru. Nezumi no ibari o hana e nasutte mita koto mo aru. Shikashi nani o doushite mo, hana wa izen to shite, gorokusun no nagasa o burari to kuchibiru no ue ni burasageteiru dewa nai ka.

  Tokoroga aru toshi no aki, Naigu no you o kanete, kyou e agatta deshi no sou ga, shirube no isha kara nagai hana o mijikaku suru hou o osowattekita. Sono isha to iu nowa, moto Shintan kara watatte kita otoko de, touji wa Chourakuji no gusou ni natte ita no de aru.

  Naigu wa, itsumo no you ni, hana nado wa ki ni kakenai to iu fuu o shite, waza to sono hou mo sugu ni yatte miyou to wa iwazu ni ita. Soushite ippou dewa, kigaru na kuchou de, shokuji no tabigoto ni, deshi no tesuu o kakeru no ga, kokorogurushii to iu you na koto o itta. Naishin dewa muron deshi no sou ga, jibun o tokifusete, kono hou o kokoromisaseru no o matte ita no de aru. Deshi no sou nimo, Naigu no kono sakuryaku ga wakaranai hazu wa nai. Shikashi sore ni taisuru hankan yori wa, Naigu no sou iu sakuryaku o toru kokoromochi no hou ga, yori tsuyoku kono deshi no sou no doujou o ugokashita no de arou. Deshi no sou wa, Naigu no yoki doori, kuchi o kiwamete, kono hou o kokoromiru koto o susume dashita. Sou shite, Naigu jishin mo mata, sono yoki doori, kekkyoku kono neshin na kankoku ni choujuu suru koto ni natta.

  Sono hou to iu nowa, tada, yu de hana o yudete, sono hana o hito ni fumaseru to iu, kiwamete kantan na mono deatta.

  Yu wa tera no yuya de, mainichi wakashite iru. Sokode deshi no sou wa, yubi mo irerarenai you na atsui yu o, suguni hisage ni irete, yuya kara kunde kita. Shikashi jika ni kono hisage e hana o ireru to naru to, yuge ni fukarete kao o yakedo suru osore ga aru. Sokode oshiki e ana o akete, sore o hisage no futa ni shite, sono ana kara hana o yu no naka e ireru koto ni shita. Hana dake wa kono atsui yu no naka e hitashite mo, sukoshi mo atsuku nai no de aru. Shibaraku suru to deshi no sou ga itta.

  --mou yudatta jibun de gozarou.

  Naigu wa kushou shita. Kore dake kiita no dewa, dare mo hana no hanashi to wa ki ga tsukanaidarou to omotta kara de aru. Hana wa nettou ni musarete, nomi no kutta you ni muzugayui.

  Deshi no sou wa, Naigu ga oshiki no ana kara hana o nuku to, sono mada yuge no tatte iru hana o, ryouashi ni chikara o irenagara, fumi hajimeta. Naigu wa yoko ni natte, hana o yukaita no ue e nobashinagara, deshi no sou no ashi ga ueshita ni ugoku no o me no mae ni miteiru no de aru. Deshi no sou wa, tokidoki kinodoku sou na kao o shite, Naigu no hage atama o mioroshinagara, konna koto o itta.

  --itou wa gozaranu kana. Ishi wa semete fume to moshita de. Jaga, itou wa gozaranu kana.

  Naigu wa kubi o futte, itakunai to iu imi o shimesou to shita. Tokoroga hana o fumareteiru no de omou you ni kubi ga ugokanai. Sokode, uwame o tsukatte, deshi no sou no ashi ni akagire no kireteiru no o nagamenagara, hara o tateta you na koe de,

  --itou wa naite.

  To kotaeta. Jissai hana wa muzugayui tokoro o fumareru no de, itai yori mo kaette kimochi no ii kurai datta no de aru.

  Shibaraku funde iru to, yagate, awatsubu no you na mono ga, hana e dekihajimeta. Iwaba ke o mushitta kotori o sokkuri maruyaki ni shita you na katachi de aru. Deshi no sou wa kore o miru to, ashi o tomete hitorigoto no you ni kou itta. --kore o kenuki de nuke to mousu koto de gozatta.

  Naigu wa, fusokurashiku hoo o fukurasete, damatte deshi no sou no surunari ni makasete oita. Muron deshi no sou no shinsetsu ga wakaranai wake dewa nai. sore wa wakatte mo, jibun no hana o marude buppin no you ni toriatsukau no ga, fuyukai ni omowareta kara de aru. Naigu wa, shinyou shinai ishi no shujutsu o ukeru kanja no you na kao o shite, fushou bushou ni deshi no sou ga, hana no keana kara kenuki de abura o toru no o nagameteita. Abura wa, tori no hane no kuki no you na katachi o shite, shibu bakari no nagasa ni nukeru no de aru.

  Yagate kore ga hitotoori sumu to, deshi no sou wa, hotto hitoiki tsuita you na kao o shite,

  --mou ichido, kore o yudereba you gozaru.

  To itta.

  Naigu wa yahari, hachi no ji o yoseta mama fufukurashii kao o shite, deshi no sou no iunari ni natteita.

  Sate nidome ni yudeta hana o dashite miru to, naruhodo, itsu ni naku mijikaku natteiru. Kore dewa atarimae no kagibana to taishita kawari wa nai. Naigu wa sono mijikakunatta hana o nadenagara, deshi no sou no dashitekureru kagami o, kimari ga warusou ni ozuozu nozoite mita.

  Hana wa --ano ago no shita made sagatteita hana wa, hotondo uso no you ni ishuku shite, ima wa wazuka ni uwakuchibiru no ue de ikijinaku zanzen o tamotteiru. Tokoro dokoro madara ni akaku natteiru nowa, osoraku fumareta toki no ato de arou. Kounareba, mou dare mo warau mono wa nai ni chigainai. --kagami no naka ni aru Naigu no kao wa, kagami no soto ni aru Naigu no kao o mite, manzoku sou ni me o shibatataita.

  Shikashi, sono hi wa mada ichinichi, hana ga mata nagaku nariwashinai ka to iu fuan ga atta. Sokode Naigu wa zugyou suru toki nimo, shokuji o suru toki nimo, hima sae areba te o dashite, sotto hana no saki ni sawatte mita. Ga, hana wa gyougiyoku kuchibiru no ue ni osamatteiru dake de, kakubetsu sore yori shita e burasagatte kuru keshiki mo nai. Sore kara hitoban nete akuruhi hayaku me ga sameru to Naigu wa mazu, daiichi ni, jibun no hana o nadete mita. Hana wa izen to shite mijikai. Naigu wa soko de, ikutose nimo naku, hokekyou shosha no kou o tsunda toki no you na , nobinobi shita kibun ni natta.

  Tokoroga nisannichi tatsu uchi ni, Naigu wa igai na jijitsu o hakken shita. Sore wa ori kara, youji ga atte, ikenoo no tera o otozureta samurai ga, mae yori mo issou okashisou na kao o shite, hanashi mo rokuroku sezu ni, jirojiro Naigu no hana bakari nagamete ita koto de aru. Sore nomi narazu, katsute, Naigu no hana o kayu no naka e otoshita koto no aru chuudouji nazo wa, koudou no soto de Naigu to ikichigatta toki ni, hajime wa, shita o muite okashisa o koraete ita ga, toutou koraekaneta to miete, ichido ni futto fukidashite shimatta. You o iitsukatta shimohoushitachi ga, men to mukatte iru aida dake wa, tsutsushinde kiite ite mo, Naigu ga ushiro sae mukeba, sugu ni kusukusu warai dashita nowa, ichido ya nido no koto dewa nai.

  Naigu wa hajime, kore o jibun no kaogawari ga shita sei da to kaishaku shita. Shikashi doumo kono kaishaku dake dewa juubun ni setsumei ga tsukanai you de aru. --mochiron, chuudouji ya shimohoushi ga warau gen'in wa, soko ni aru no ni chigainai. Keredomo onaji warau ni shite mo, hana no nagakatta mukashi to wa, warau no ni dokotonaku yousu ga chigau. Minareta nagai hana yori, minarenai mijikai hana no hou ga kokkei ni mieru to ieba, sore made de aru. Ga, soko niwa mada nani ka arurashii.

  --mae niwa ano you ni zukezuke to wa warawananda te.

  Naigu wa, zushikaketa kyoumon o yamete, hageatama o katamukenagara, tokidoki kou tsubuyaku koto ga atta. Aisubeki Naigu wa, sou iu toki ni naru to, kanarazu bonyari, katawara ni kaketa fugen no gazou o nagamenagara, hana no nagakatta shigonichi mae no koto o omoi dashite, "Ima wa muge ni iyashiku nari sagareru hito no, sakaetaru mukashi o shinobu ga gotoku." fusagikonde shimau no de aru. --Naigu niwa, ikan nagara kono toi ni kotae o ataeru mei ga kaketeita.

  --ningen no kokoro niwa tagai ni mujun shita futatsu no kanjou ga aru. Mochiron, dare demo tanin no fukou ni doujou shinai mono wa nai. Tokoro ga sono hito ga sono fukou o, dounikashite kirinukeru koto ga dekiru to, kondo wa kocchi de nantonaku monotarinai you na kokoromochi ga suru. Sukoshi kochou shite ie ba, mou ichido sono hito o, onaji fukou ni otoshiirete mitai you na ki ni sae naru. Soushite itsu no ma nika, shoukyokuteki dewa aru ga, aru tekii o sono hito ni taishite idaku you na koto ni naru. --Naigu ga, riyuu o shiranai nagara mo, nan to naku fukai ni omotta nowa, Ikenoo no souzoku no taido ni, kono boukansha no riko-shugi o sore to naku kanzuita kara ni hokanaranai.

  Soko de Naigu wa higoto ni kigen ga waruku natta. Futakotome niwa, dare demo ijiwaruku shikari tsukeru. Shimai niwa hana no ryouji o shita ano deshi no sou desae, "Naigu wa houkendon no tsumi o ukerareru zo." to kageguchi o kiku hodo ni natta. Koto ni Naigu o okoraseta nowa, rei no itazura na chuudouji de aru. Aru hi, ketatamashiku inu no hoeru koe ga suru no de, Naigu ga nanigenaku soto e dete miru to, chuudouji wa, nishaku bakari no ki no kire o furimawashite, ke no nagai, yaseta mukuinu o oimawashiteiru. Sore mo tada, oimawashiteiru no dewa nai. "Hana o utare mai. Sore, hana o utare mai." to hayashinagara, oimawashite iru no de aru. Naigu wa, chuudouji no te kara sono ki no kire o hittakutte, shitataka sono kao o utta. Ki no kire wa izen no hanamotage no ki datta no de aru.

  Naigu wa namajii ni, hana no mijikaku natta no ga, kaette urameshikunatta.

  Suruto aru yo no koto de aru. Hi ga kurete kara kyuu ni kaze ga deta to miete, tou no fuutaku no naru oto ga, urusai hodo makura ni kayotte kita. Sono ue, samusa mo mekkiri kuwawatta no de, rounen no Naigu wa netsukou to shite mo netsukarenai. Soko de toko no naka de majimaji shite iru to, futo hana ga itsu ni naku, muzukayui no ni ki ga tsuita. Te o atete miru to sukoshi suiki ga kita you ni mukun de iru. Douyara soko dake, netsu sae mo arurashii.

  --muri ni mijikou shita de, yamai ga okotta no kamo shire nu.

  Naigu wa, butsuzen ni kouge o sonaeru you na uyauyashii tetsuki de, hana o osaenagara, kou tsubuyaita.

  Yokuasa, Naigu ga itsumo no you ni hayaku me o samashite miru to, jinai no ichou ya tochi ga hitoban no uchi ni ha o otoshita no de, niwa wa kin o shiita you ni akarui. Tou no yane niwa shimo ga orite iru sei de arou. Mada usui asahi ni, kurin ga mabayuku hikatte iru. Zenchi Naigu wa, shitomi o ageta en ni tatte, fukaku iki o suikonda.

  Hotondo, wasureyou to shite ita aru kankaku ga, futatabi Naigu ni kaette kita no wa kono toki de aru.

  Naigu wa awatete hana e te o yatta. Te ni sawaru mono wa, yuube no mijikai hana dewa nai. Uwakuchibiru no ue kara ago no shita made, gorokusun amari mo burasagatte iru, mukashi no nagai hana de aru. Naigu wa hana ga hitoban no uchi ni, mata moto no toori nagaku natta no o shitta. Soushite sore to douji ni, hana ga nagakunatta toki to onaji you na, harebare shita kokoromochi ga, dokokara tomo naku kaette kuru no o kanjita.

  --kou nareba, mou dare mo warau mono wa nai ni chigainai.

  Naigu wa kokoro no naka de kou jibun ni sasayaita. Nagai hana o akegata no akikaze ni buratsukase nagara.

(Taishou 5 nen 1 gatsu)

(2005-12-15)